I'm having a bit of a crisis of style and I need to talk this out to make sense of it. It's not that I've suddenly fallen out of love with the fashion stylings of the 40's or 50's, it's not that I don't wish that I could wear (and suit) those stylings every day of my life, it's more to do with my obsessive and complusive take on things and how my clothes fit in to my everyday life.
Now that I'm working from home full time I have to admit there are days where personal hygiene takes the back seat, when I know I'm not going to see a soul for days, or leave the house except to walk the wolf along secluded but beautiful mountain pathways. This is Bad, I know this, and it's not really helped that along with my lack of human interaction on a general basis, I'm also what most people would term a little eccentric and currently going through one of my more crazy periods.
I started this blog to track the changes in my attitude towards fashion, clothing and personal styling and that doesn't really seem to be happening. Mostly, I think, because I became too focused on creating posts that revolved around a fashion and style that doesn't suit how I live my life, and forgot that it's okay to not to dress up every day, that all my clothes don't necessarily need to be vintage or vintage styled, and that it's okay to post about the days when all I'm wearing are my ubiquitous jeans. Because, quite frankly, it's a little hard to get me out of the damn things.
It's also not helped by the fact that I'm petite, ever so slightly pear shaped with a high waist and ridiculously long legs (5'2" with a 31" inside leg anyone?) so the things 'experts' say to wear to counteract one thing are on the absolutely do not think about it moron list for everything else. I literally have no idea what clothes should be suiting me and I don't have an unlimited budget to experiment properly.
My lifestyle revolves around sitting at my desk, or dining table, or curled up on the couch, writing articles for people on a variety of different subjects in a house with no form of heating other than the Aga in the kitchen, whilst being used as a scratch post by the cat and pawed by the wolf for attention. Nice clothes and I do not mix on a daily basis if I'm spending my time in the house, they don't really mix when I was working in an office either if I'm honest, mostly because I don't know how to sit on a chair properly and usually wander around barefoot.
I know I've mentioned it before (and here), and then completely ignored myself, which is a bad personality trait that I seriously need to get in hand, but it's time I started dressing for me, my body, and my lifestyle. While I still want nice, vintage (or retro) clothing that I can wear on my day trips out and about, those days are currently few and far between so I need to be thinking about clothing that works for me on the other days, the ones where I don't go anywhere, because those are the ones I have the majority of. And, do you know what, I'm really slow because I've only just realised that it's okay to not be wearing nice clothes all the time, so long as I'm presentable and comfortable and displaying a little personality.
I want to start visiting the charity shops in Caerffili every week, and I want to spend at least one day a month visiting somewhere nearby that I've not been to before, because my background levels of crazy have gone far too high over the last month, and it seems I've become accustomed to human interaction on an everyday basis at some point in my life and now can't do without it. Those days, if appropriate, can be spent in nice clothes. The rest of the time, I'm going to be wearing things that are comfy, probably made of denim and jersey, but that will - please god - look good. I'm going to work on putting together a daily routine that involves making myself presentable just in case someone decides to take pity on the loony down the road and pop over for a cuppa, and I'm going to work on keeping the house a little tidier because it's embarassing to constantly be apologising for the fact that I'm 36 and can't put anything away once I'm done with it.
Unfortunately, as I don't have a clue what looks good this is going to be an interesting learning curve! It's also worth reminding myself that I'm not as skinny as I used to be, and my posture is such that my pelvis tips to a ridiculous angle (but at least gives me a butt) making me look like I have a big stomach (actually, I just have a dinky little round belly, probably from all the chocolate and cans of coke). I remember loving boot cut jeans at college, and I had a pair of skinny jeans that really accentuated my legs some years back, so I'm going to try replicating those. I'm also going for more 70's inspiration, they did slim fit so well and as I should really be wearing low cut trousers the slimmer the fit the better, particularly if I want to tuck anything in. I miss wearing my biker boots, so I bought a pair of brown boots a couple of days ago, and I'm going to re-explore my biker chick fascination to my heart's content. I like shoes I can run in, that I can fight in (what, it's been known to happen), and that don't make my feet ache like a bitch for days, so I'm steering clear of heels and looking at other options.
The good thing about the decorating is my plan to go through everything I own and weed out anything unnecessary, and that includes my clothes. I'm going to hit up eBay for some different styles of things because I want to see what different cuts, shapes and styles look best, but as my budget is severely limited until my new business is well and truly off the ground (and I've bought the wood burning stove and iPad I'm hoping for before winter) it's going to take a while to get there. Maybe photographing myself in all my current clothes would be a good way to see what works and what doesn't, I just have to hope we have enough light as the weather has returned to grey and miserable.
I also want to peruse some fashion icons, because I'm shite at coming up with my own ideas on how to style outfits and need a little inspiration. Natalie Portman springs to mind immediately, we're of the same height (give or take half an inch) and she looks to be a little short waisted; I want to see what styles she chooses for her outfits and if I can figure out why.
Hopefully this will turn into an exercise that I can use to apply principles to my own wardrobe, regardless of whether I'm spending the day working from home or out and about on my little day trips around South Wales. I want to learn how to put together outfits, so I'll be trying to come up with three ways to style each item of my clothing in an effort to force myself to be a little creative. And I'll still be sewing, there's still plenty of patterns I have, old and new, that I want to make that will still be of use, I just need to be a little more thoughtful about how and when I'll be wearing them.
If you've got any advice (I'll try to listen this time, promise) or other style icons you think would be useful (blogger or celeb) then let me know in the comments.
Thanks for stopping by,
Posts
It is very odd when you start working from home, ain't it? I am doing the same at the moment and I have had to find a whole new wardrobe. Because I am no longer leaving the house everyday (about twice a week in fact), I found it hard at first to warrant actually getting dressed in anything other than jeggings and a jumper.
But - over the last month I have made a conscious effort to find "indoor clothes" that still have a nod towards the 40's style I like to plonk myself in. Women back then wore "house dresses" for a reason - because on certain days, they didn't leave the house - and I have followed suit. I did feel like I had lost my 40s self there for a bit - but - it's back.
As for finding your own personal style - it can be a long journey - but I think taking pictures of outfits you put together is a good idea :)
I've actually had the reverse situation. I have gone from a job where I wore jeans and a hoody in Winter and jeans and a t-shirt in Summer to an office job where I have to be fairly smart.
When I was in the other job I ended up wearing jeans all the time at home too because I just couldn't be arsed. I have really enjoyed getting my clothes mojo back, I have made a few mistakes along the way (most of which have ended up on ebay!)but now I love wearing nice dresses and things and experimenting
I'm not sure how to suggest to you how to get your clothes mojo back, my hand was forced by a job situation other than baby steps? The things you have thought of are all good and it is possible, it does make you feel so much better too.
I went through a phase after having my older son where I lived in jogging bottoms, I didn't start dressing like a real person until my younger son was almost a year old and I still struggle with what I want to look like and what looks good on me, and I'm almost 4 years older than you!
I started a blog http://whatfwuwore.wordpress.com where I take a photo of what I'm wearing every day (I managed to only miss 1 day in the last year, it's become habit now). They're not always flattering photos and the lighting isn't always great, but it's a record for me on what I wear the most (so I can make more), what doesn't look quite right (so I can alter it or get rid of it) and what looks plain awful and should be sent to the charity shop right away!
I think every few years we tend to re-evaluate what we want to look like and want to wear, I've been through so many phases I can't keep track of them any more and nowadays I seem to just mix it all together and hope I look presentable! I don't get out much, Uni every 6 weeks or so and the school run each day plus Sainsburys once a week, so looking smart isn't really necessary, but I too am tired of the jeans all the time, must keep working on that!
Ya know, after 1 and a half weeks at home cramming, there were days where I didn't even get out of my PJs...
You sound like you have got some good ideas about how to work through the style crisis.
I found Me Made May was a bit like doing a wardrobe inventory and would suggest you record what you wear and try to record good and bad points. Maybe you could do similar with the clothes you aren't wearing? Sorry I am feeling a little slow and cannot think of any really good suggestions.
I think you should look at Anna Friel and Zooey Deschanel as they're both petite and have interesting styles.
Maybe shirt dresses with leggings/tights so you can wear your biker boots?
Have you checked out Vintage Vision in Abergavenny? They have nice vintage stuff reasonably priced and I think they had some 70s stuff the last time I was in there.
It's so difficult, isn't it? I love house dresses actually, they just don't protect my legs enough from the cat! I think I have a couple of house dress patterns that I'm still intending to sew that'll be perfect for day trips out and about.
I had that happen a couple of years back, it was a terrible culture shock for me and honestly took me around 7 months to adapt to 'proper clothes' and a normal office environment, but you're right, it was great to have a clothes mojo working for me. I'm hoping the baby steps will work, most importantly I'm more excited about clothing and the blog again, and constantly thinking of what I can pair together :)
Daily photographs are a great idea, I might just nick that idea a little later down the line. At the moment I'm hoping to photograph at least one outfit plus two remixes a week because I don't want to pressure myself so much I run away screaming ;) I like that it'll give me an idea of what works and what doesn't and why which is very much what I'm lacking at the moment. Thanks for the tip!
I think I'd be like that if the wolf didn't require walking twice a day, although I have to admit that there are days where I just change my bottoms and then put my PJ's back on when I get home (like today ... shhhhhh, don't tell anyone)
I'd like to work my way through my entire wardrobe, one of the good things about all the work going on in the house is that it's an opportunity to sort through everything and dump the crap, I already have to big Ikea bags full of stuff to sell or donate!
You, my lovely, are brilliant! I love Anna Friel and Zooey Deschanel, and not just because they're about the same height as me ;) They shall be added to my style icon list forthwith!
I've not heard of Vintage Vision, but then I've not actually made it to Abergavenny yet so that'll be a day trip to make soon, thanks for the tip!
I loved this post. I read it a few days ago and it really resonated with me. I don't work from home most days (though there was a period I did and I longed for human contact), but I struggle with some of the same things you mention. For example, what if I love to oogle vintage styles but I feel costumey in it? What if I don't want to dress up but still want to feel good when I look in the mirror? What makes me feel like me? And if for you that's biker chic and the 70s, do it!! (I happen to like both, personally). There's really something to be said about casual, that I think can overlooked in the blogosphere. I've been meaning to check out the book, Tomboy Style, for some inspiration.
I have the same stomach problem! A girl at the fair the other day pointed to me and asked, "Is there a baby in there?" Sigh. So all my sewn clothes are getting a full belly adjustment from now on out!! Good luck and I look forward to this fun journey ahead :)
For me there's a big difference between the clothes styles I love and the clothes styles I can wear and go about my daily life and that bugs me no end! Hopefully the biker/70's thing will work out for me, we'll have to see.
I can't believe someone said that to you, that's so rude! And I can't say I've ever thought you had a big belly in any of your outfit/sewing pics so that's just doubly rude!!
And thanks, I feel a bit more enthusiastic about clothes and the blog, so hopefully it'll be just the thing I need! :)
Reading this strikes cord with me as I have been mulling this question over myself lately.
I realised I'd find it very hard to define exactly what my style is. I am so flipping changeable that something I loved yesterday I probably wont tomorrow, I drive myself totally crazy, I would love to be able to say this is ME this is what I like, but I just cant, and knowing if something actually suits my shape or not, well that's a whole other problem :)
Spending so much time at work in jeans and a cartoon/super hero t-shirt mainly because its easier when working with a bunch of apparently hilarious men, to just blend in. Unfortunately though this does lead me to overcompensate on the weekends, desperate to add a bit more flair into my outfits, which has resulted with me having a wardrobe which looks frankly schizophrenic. I'd love to merge the line between work and weekend clothes but I am not sure how, I guess its a work in progress!
I do think you are doing the right thing by revisiting the things you felt most comfortable in and working from there. End of the day its all about what you feel great in, be it a fleece or a floaty dress. But I am sure you will totally rock the biker chick look and I am with you on wearing shoes you can run in!
Oh and I was going to say Anna Friel too, that's who you remind me of so it seems only fitting to have a nosey at her style.
Blimey you have the same leg measurement as me I'm 5'10" (on a good day), if I were you I would definitely be showing of those pins!!
Oh and its some kind of law or something, that people will call round when your looking your most unkempt (it happens to me all the time...again I pity my postie) and I struggle with the putting away of things to, hence why my home is always in some stage of 'being' tided yet never really reaches the tidy status:)
Waffling comment achieved....Over and out :) x
Great post, Tors!
I´ve been known to work from home a lot too, in periods at least, and my absolute favorite outfit of all times is New Look 6000 in jersey (the Lisette Portfolio Dress is great for lounging as well), tights, a BIG cardigan and a light scarf. That´s what I wear, feel comfortable in and still look presentable. Oh, and wrist warmers. There´s probably a photo of me wearing something like that in my Flickr stream.
Otherwise, I´m crap at knowing the height of people just by looking at them, and I would´ve never known you were petite! :-) Also, I must be the only one not finding jeans to be especially comfortable and wear them mostly when I´m outside.
Ah, the curse of being flighty ;) I have the same problem, I like elements of biker, rock chick, vintage 40's, vintage 50's, a bit of the 70's and some modern styles too and each day is a different love. It's never really occurred to me that I can just wear what the hell I want, it doesn't have to belong to just one style! I hope you manage to find the balance you're looking for - I worked with a girl once who loved to 'dress up', she'd pick a character to be that day then wear the clothes for it, even if she never 'played' that character throughout the day she'd be like 'today I'm a princess', 'today I'm an international spy' and it totally worked for her!
Thanks for the compliment, I love Anna Friel so that's lovely to hear! I can't believe I have the same leg measurement as you though! That's mad, I knew I had long legs but still!
Love your waffling comments, feel free to leave as many as you like! x
Thank you! :)
I do love jersey for comfort, isn't it fab? I find skirts and dresses get caught around my legs or that tights feel restrictive, or they don't allow me to sit on chairs in the way I prefer (perched on the arm, sitting crosslegged, spread sideways) which is why I tend to prefer jeans.
Yes, I am petite, but I wouldn't expect you to know that from the photos! Interestingly though, even people I've known years who're 6' plus have been known not to notice until one day they realise that I barely come up to their shoulder and then they freak out! Happens more often than you'd believe ;)
La! we sit the same way in chairs!! as for the rest, i've had this page open for days figuring out how to respond. it seems a bunch of us are going thru the same thing as far as style evolution. i love my cute, girly 50's clothes but i generally feel much more comfortable in a hoodie and jeans. i think i've aiming more towards kate moss and sienna miller instead of the zooey deschanel i've been channeling. i still love dressing up like zooey, but i think my everyday styling should be a bit more comfy and stylish to handle daily life bike commuting and working in a lab. also, i'm back in a "wanting to be more casual" mindset lately, instead of the "willing to work on my appearance" mindset i've had over the past several years.
i'm not sure where this will all end up and i don't want to get rid of my old wardrobe, i guess i'm just happy i can make things i like....even when i'm not sure what that is :)
penny for your thoughts ...
All comments are moderated and your comment will appear shortly. Thank you for taking the time to leave me a message, it's very much appreciated.